| THIS is real love. |
[11 May 2007|01:03am] |
n2phantom: his grammar makes my dick hard
peaces0fyou: hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha
peaces0fyou: that is the best sentence ever
n2phantom: basically
peaces0fyou: better than the chunky smoothie comment
peaces0fyou: omg, i want you SO bad right now.
n2phantom: you got me. masturbate!!!
n2phantom: lol only joking
peaces0fyou: lol
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[30 Apr 2007|09:30am] |
omg we move into our new place tomorrow! HOURS of packing to come...and it's NOT going to be pretty.
Build-a-bear interview today at four!!!
He's kind of scaring me, but everything happens for a reason and turns out for the best. Everything happens for a reason and turns out for the best. Everything happens for a reason and turns out for the best. Everything happens for a reason and turns out for the best. Everything happens for a reason and turns out for the best. Everything happens for a reason and turns out for the best. OK, that should do it.
It's gonna be a good summer....
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[16 Apr 2007|08:39pm] |
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We have a porch, an orange tree, and a little stove and oven!!! And a pantry!!!!!!!!
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[16 Apr 2007|08:12pm] |
Honestly, these past two days have been some of the best days of my life! I'm in love, completely. So much that it makes previous loves almost incomparable. He is wonderful. and we just fit completely. The whole thing happened totally by accident, but ended up so perfect. Neither of us were looking for anything, but we found each other, and I couldn't be happier.
Secondly, I finally have my own place! Amanda and I have our own place!!! We wrote the checks for our deposit today and it's final! We're staying here in our own cottage that we're paying for on our own!! 14 days until move in!
Finally, my cousin had her baby this morning! Her name is Alexis Dianne Imhoff, she's 8 pounds, 11 ounces, and she's beautiful! I'm so happy to be an "auntie" again!
AHH!! I'm finally growing up and making the changes I wanted! Now the situation is where exactly to work. I have my job at Outback in Ormond, but do I want to transfer to Daytona since it's closer? That presents less than obvious doubts, but has its advantages like being closer to Jesse's house and lowering miles put on my car. Do I want to work at Build-A-Bear because it's something that I'd love to do and make children happy all the time? I just don't know! But I'm in love and have my own place!
AHHHHH!!!!!
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[16 Apr 2007|10:34am] |
happy birthday my sarrino!
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[15 Apr 2007|10:19pm] |
He loves me:)
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[04 Apr 2007|03:27pm] |
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As of late, I will be a music major again next year. Basically, I can't stand my life not being completely devoured by music. This free time is eating me up and wasting my time.
I'm more or less indifferent to most things, especially responsibility. I'm so content with life that I know nothing can take away this feeling, and I'm neglecting things that should be of utmost importance such as classes. Someday I'll learn. I just know that nothing is going to affect me for the rest of my life, and unless it does, I don't give it that much power over me.
My creative, introspective side is coming out lately and I am enjoying focusing on it.
I feel like poop today, healthwise.
Kthxbye.
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[16 Feb 2007|11:09am] |
I burned the inside of my index finger on my right hand: right where it touches my middle finger at the tip. Much discomfort included.
Tulips are pretty, so is my roommate.
Bessie is beautiful too, despite her flaws.
blah blah blah.
this is a sorry excuse for an update, but it's been so long that something -- anything -- was necessary.
Kthxbye.
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[19 Jan 2007|06:36am] |
omgihatehtesenightswhenican'tsleepbecauseit'smyfavoritethingtodoandican'tandi'mgoingtobesosleepytomorrow!!!!!!
Ugh, so angry.
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[12 Dec 2006|04:18am] |
so, I'm liberated. I was able to let go. I got the confirmation I needed, and I'm free. It's so peaceful.
I'm experiencing mixed emotions about life and the people in it. Daily they change. The feelings, not so much the people. The people are more weekly changing. I'm trying to get the rhythm of the feelings and people changing in groove, but it's just not happening yet.
I'm really looking forward to this winter break. I'm looking forward to working, having me time, spending time with my sister, and time with friends that I just don't get to see enough. I want to see my doggies and sleep in cuddling with them. I also want to read and just have a good time. I really hope I do things instead of sleeping it away. It's what I do these days.
I would be nocturnal if it were a possible option, I swear. I woke up at 3:30 this afternoon. It was splendid. I miss these times of being a night owl. It's when I get my best thinking done.
So, that's what I'm gonna go do whilst crossing my fingers that my roommate talks in her sleep soon...
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[30 Nov 2006|11:45am] |
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Ahhh......I'm a juggler! It's OK, I like juggling. But what if I want to stop juggling and pick one ball? Green, blue, or red? Or purple? Damnit. Where did purple come from? I thought I forgot about purple. Purple, leave me alone. No, wait, don't!
Candlelight is tonight. I'm actually excited now! My mama and sister will be there as will Amanda and her mama. Yay!!!
So, I'm gonna keep taking it easy today so I don't lose my voice any more than I have.
K. Bye!
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[30 Oct 2006|01:36pm] |
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yay! It's beetle day!
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[22 Oct 2006|05:27pm] |
today = best day of my life.
that's all you need to know.
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[18 Oct 2006|11:00am] |
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Today is one of those days that just shouldn't happen.
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[14 Oct 2006|01:04am] |
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I guess I'm just not compassionate anymore.
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[12 Oct 2006|02:53am] |
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I'm confused and scared and nervous and all that kind of stuff. I think I have aloneness and separation issues.
I'll find out. I just want to sleep.
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[05 Oct 2006|04:35pm] |
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 gloomy |
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Does it count as doing homework if I sit at my desk browsing the internet whilst my precalculus book rests on my lap? BTW, I hate that class.
I've been busy doing lots of things. Reflecting. Reading. I'm addicted to Jane Green. Working on another of her books, but, damnit, college gets in the way of my reading time. I like college except for the classes thing. If I could just take German, Music Theory, be in choir, be Mr. Hose's assistant, and have pets and visit lots of animals and go feed the ducks at Earl Brown Park everyday, I would be the happiest person in the world. Well, with exceptions. I'll leave it at that. There's always someone who spoils the fun.
Concert Choir's first concert of the year is tomorrow night at 7:30. I'm pretty excited. I don't feel like we're that ready for it yet; there are still a few flaws, but high school kids, who will be the audience, have ADD anyway, so they won't notice when we mess up. My family's not coming because there's a really cool hotel they'd rather go to instead, so that's nice of them. Eric's family is coming and my mom is supposedly. This will be their first meeting. It will be interesting to say the least.
Fall Break is this weekend, and I'm totally ready for it. I'm going to SeaWorld with my brother, sister-in-law, niece, sister, and brother-in-law on Saturday. I'm excited to spend time with Hope. She is the sweetest, cutest little girl. They're also giving us their dachshund, Lil' Anne. Since our Cassie died, Hope offered her to us and we decided we're going to try it out. Not to try to replace her or hide our pain, but to bring some joy to our family again. It's been 2 weeks since she died and time has certainly dragged on. That dog was part human, I'm convinced, but only the good part. She was more than a dog. She was the baby of the family and she definitely used the position to her advantage. Her signature move was to walk up to you as you were sitting anywhere and drop her chin on your knee and roll her eyes up at you with the sweetest twinkle in them. She slept above my sister's head every night. She always wanted to be with people. She was a people dog, not a dog's dog. We could barely get her to walk outside with us because she was so scared of the world outside. She wanted to be with us at home, not running around like a dog finding things and exploring. She didn't have an adventurous bone in her body. That's why I can't understand why she left that morning even though the gate was open. She hated walking down the driveway with one of us, not to mention alone. I miss that dog so much. I feel like a part of me has died. The happy part. She was my family. The one that made me feel loved. Everything else in my life just stresses me out and disappoints me.
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| My life in a nutshell. |
[24 Sep 2006|07:54pm] |
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- My printer is dying.
- My computer is dying.
- My baby dog is gone.
- I don't want to be in college anymore.
- Eric and his family would think less of me if I didn't graduate from college, and his mom wouldn't let him marry me.
- I have minimal friends.
I don't care about how smart I am or how much money I have. I don't want a a career that is my life. I want a job that I forget about when I leave the workplace and is nothing more than a means of funds to live my life with. I want a house in the middle of nowhere with my family and animals: dogs, cats, goats, whatever. I just want a life of love and laughter and good times. Not a life of stress and fancy cars and expensive dinners. That's not life. That's a facade.
All I want to do right now is read. Get me out of here.
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[19 Sep 2006|03:02pm] |
Our Cassie died this morning.
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[18 Sep 2006|01:29pm] |
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 thoughtful |
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Things are different now. I feel like I'm constantly changing.
I've decided to let myself go with Eric. I was holding back for a long time worrying about other things and letting them interfere. I didn't realize I was holding back until now, but I'm not anymore. I think I was worried about what a lot of people thought and concerned with getting hurt. I've been telling him for the last few months "Don't spend so much time worrying about the relationship that you forget to be a part of it," but I've unconsciously doing the same thing. Getting hurt is a phase of life. It happens and there's nothing you can do to avoid it, so I'm not going to allow that possibility to affect my happiness. I'm just gonna dive in this thing and accept it instead of dipping my feet in and out.
I think I'm beginning another chapter of self-discovery. I tell myself and others that I'm a hardass, that I expect things to be done right and that I tell it like it is. I just don't know if that's the real me or me putting up a front to once again defer the possibility of pain and keep people at a distance. I cried last night watching the handicapped family discover their new home on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, I can't stand movies with murder or pain, I get angry and upset if someone hurts a bug, I cry if one of my fish dies, I can't stand looking at those "Invisible Children" posters. When I visit the cats at Petsmart that are up for adoption, they're so happy to have just my two fingers reach through the cage to pet them for 10 seconds, and I leave in tears telling them "Someone loves you and will come to take you home. I'm sorry you have to be alone, but it won't last." I can't be both compassionate and hot-tempered. Can I? Well, I am. I'm struggling to find a happy medium. I don't want my harsh demeanor to push my friends away and keep away those who don't bother to get to know me because I come off as arrogant or pessimistic.
On a more basic note, the two classes I can't STAND are Precalculus and Economics. These are the two that are the most rooted in my major, besides Info. Tech. which isn't so difficult. Is anyone else seeing a Silver Lining?
I'm going to read. I've been at this book for entirely too long, and it's time for me!
Angel
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